Relationships

I’ve been approached by dozens of friends & family asking when my next blog would be posted, so here it is folks.

I have a couple of family members/friends struggling with relationships recently, so I thought it would be a good time to dig into this topic. As some of you know, back in 2001, with the solid support of my mom, dad, sister, brother and brother in law, I was able to remove myself and my four children from a very unhealthy and abusive marriage. I can honestly tell you without hesitation that this was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I had four children under the age of 10 who needed a healthy mother and deserved to be raised in a healthy environment. This was the beginning of my body breaking down on a cellular level. I lost 25lbs within two months because I could not eat due to the stress involved with ending this relationship. For months I literally lived on nothing but several pots of coffee each day. My face was caved in and I had absolutely no color, I looked like a walking & talking skeleton.  My body  was literally dying inside and I had so much mental and emotional destruction from the marriage, that I spent years inside counseling offices recovering, however for my body it was too late, all of the stress & turmoil proved to be to much and it ultimately led to my Cancer diagnosis 11 years later.

The importance of sharing this story with you is that there is no rewind button in life, we don’t get redues, so who we choose as our partners in this crazy life is so critical for our health and well being. Unfortunately for me, I ignored the red flags that were right in front of my eyes and stepped into what ended up being a extremely destructive and painful marriage.  I obviously have regrets from my past, But instead of dwelling on them,  I concentrate on all the positive things I learned during this extremely difficult time in my life. I am such a better person now, so much wiser and oh so much smarter. The best part of this story is that I was given a second chance at love, since my divorce I found my soulmate and have been in a very loving relationship  for nearly 14 years now. He is truly my soulmate on so many levels and he has been at my side through the Cancer diagnosis, dozens of Doctor Appointments, chemotherapy’s and was at my bedside during my 23 day hospital stay in December. You could say we have been through the good, the bad and the ugly.

So, the importance of this blog and my message is choose your relationships wisely, find a partner who loves you unconditionally, someone who lifts you up, someone who drives you to be a better person, someone who will treat you with respect and hopefully makes you laugh, laughter is the best free medicine out there!!!!! We all deserve to be loved Unconditionally,  We are all worthy of this kind of love and don’t let yourself settle for anything less. If you have recently lost a relationship there may be a good reason that it didn’t work out, make sure you pay attention to the red flags, the signs or messages that you are suppose to be receiving, how I wish I had done this.

We get one life, one time around so keep your body and mind healthy by choosing healthy relationships. Your mind, body and soul will be thankful you did. Much love, Jenn.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Relationships

  1. Hi, i just wanted to say that this is such an important thing to talk about and I’m glad you chose to. I went through similar things. Senior year i started dating a guy who, over the course of about a year and a half, drove me to lose my friends, push away my family, lose about 20 lbs (which mostly occured over the last few months when he finally convinced me i was unattractive and fat.. putting me at 107 lbs.. i was not fat) he would make me think the only reason any one hung out with me was because of him and on my own i would never attract friends. On top of that he had me thinking he was a suicide threat every time we werent together. My stress was through the roof whether i was with him or not. With all of that came verbal, sexual, and mental abuse. There were signs that is was only a matter of time until he started hitting me. I finally got out of that relationship and wound up not long after, in another unhealthy relationship. I felt less trapped in this one but it was tricky. Although it was so unhealthy, it was so in the polar opposite way of the last relationship so it was hard for me to detect. When i compared it to my ex i figured “okay, well he’s not calling me demeaning names or making me scared for my life.. i guess this is just as good as it gets.” I was lucky to find a good group of friends during that time that helped me see how messed up my life had become. How i just wasnt being myself in fear of this person, who i thought was an ideal partner, no longer wanting me. I got out of it and after a few months on my own, i found myself. Finally. And along with it i found the most perfect person for me. Im glad to be in this place now, but it took a lot of hurt to get here. Im glad you wrote this post because you’re right. Choosing a person to share your life with is something that shouldnt be taken lightly. They affect who you are. And who you will become with or without their presence. I used to deal with a lot of PTSD (never diagnosed, but im positive this was the case) from the first bad relationship and at times i still do deal with it. It takes a lot of work to rebuild yourself and, gosh, i just wish people would read your post, take it seriously, and be careful and realize how much better it is to be loved by someone worth loving.
    Thank you for sharing your story.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s